How I would have loved to have run with the other children, but my body was too weak for that. As a result, I felt that I had been placed on the sidelines. Although much has changed over the past years, I can still feel the weakness of my body today. When my friends excluded me from activities they did together, I especially felt like an outsider. Their fear that my weak health could prove to be an obstacle to playing sports or climbing mountains was understandable, however. Still, this “being set aside” in so many circumstances left deep inner wounds, which brought me into a crisis.

A Bible study on safety and security showed me my true self worth. A new certainty awakened within me: I am completely and absolutely accepted by God; He loves me very much. All of this helped my relationship with God to deepen. I realized that He has thoughts of peace over my life to give me a future and a hope. This statement may seem like a slap in the face to you if you are currently resisting both your destiny in life and a God of love. I also know this phase very well; and for years I kept asking the question: “Why me?”

After having read in the Bible how Job and some of the Psalmists had brought their “why” before God, one day I had the courage to ask God this question: “Lord, why did this have to happen to me of all people?” I never received all the answers to my suffering. Nonetheless, I came to understand His work in my life much better, just like Job did. In this way, I slowly began to realize that my difficulties are limited and passing. With God’s help, new horizons opened up for me. I learned to thank Him for the “half-full cup” which God Himself had poured for me. Thus, I no longer mourned the “half-empty cup.”

Since then, my comfort is found in God’s Word: “I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us” (Romans 8:18).

Anni Schatzmann